At this point, I'm the only dude on God's watery blue testicle that isn't still shitting a brick wall over this stop-loss deal.
Angry, embittered Suspect, yeah yeah, we get the point. Saw that routine a few dozen times. Fact of the matter is that I'm stuck. They got me, period, the end. After the initial rebellious phase, I decided that I wasn't going to draw attention to myself. Under the radar, stay out of trouble and escape with what little dignity I could pick up on my way out.
Now, things are different. I just want to do it. Get in the game. Play it by the rules. Suck it up and do the job. Hell, college is just a noun to me now. Not the near-tangible salvation it was a couple months ago. For the time being, I think it might not even exist. There are no schools. No careers.
There's only desert boots and green infantry carrier vehicles. 5.56mm tracers and cheat sheats with Arabic phrases on them. All it took was one little trip to Yakima to get that deployed feeling, and I was back. Loved it way more than being in garrison.
Let's face it, garrison fucking SUCKS. It's not til you're out THERE, doing the shit you're supposed to do, that you actually feel like you're in the real army.
Did some hard thinking about the Hajis. No, I don't hate all of them. They just depress me. The lifestyle they live, some of the mentalities, oh, and suicide bombers too. I'd like to see those folks join the peaceful world and just kick it. I'm sure our economies are on par right now anyway.
But I'm not Jesus. I'm not a diplomat. An "ambassador" of sorts. Fully armed. And I'm not changing shit. These wars aren't ever going to fucking stop, no matter how much chai I fry my taste buds with, how much bread I tear apart with greedy fingers, no matter how many soccer balls I give out or how many mistranslated jokes I tell.
It always comes back to one simple thing: pull security. S'all you can do. Make sure your gear is good to go, and scan your lane. Sweat. Watch. Sigh. Snap back to it. Get up and move out, a block later, take a knee, suck back a little water, scan for threats that aren't there. Scan again anyway. Think about your bunk. Snap out of it and scan. Ignore the monotony. Don't look at your watch. Don't look at the calendar. Don't count days. Just make sure your equipment and your vehicle are good, and keep pulling security. For one more year.
You'll never have that action movie face-to-face with your enemy. If somehow you did, you sure as shit wouldn't know, and would be rendering your pisspoor excuse for a greeting as you passed him by down the street.
Hearts and minds. They smile through clenched teeth and wave, all smiles. "Ha, yes, good, good Ameriki. Very nice, come tell us how to live. Please, Mr. Ameriki, wake my family up in the middle of the night for one of your little missions, ok? K, thanks, you dogshit. Tell your Obama to hurry up and send you pigs back to your desolate sinful NASCAR events."
I don't want to hate them. I just want to make sure we have an understanding. Leave us alone and let us do our job, we're trying to get out of your hair. I promise not to be a dick unless I have even the slightest inkling that I could be at risk, so when I'm in the states, I promise, I'm a nice guy. Just keep your distance, forgive the intrusion, this wasn't my idea, but I got a gun, and you guys got bombs, and I'd feel a lot worse putting an innocent deer down than I would some guy with a boomboom vest. Innocent deer tastes good, too. So y'see where I stand, right? Exactly. That's why YOU stand way the fuck over THERE. Thanks pal. Just doing my job, wait it out, ok? See you at the World Cup.
Dude, I'm just trying to get along. That's all. I chose a game that you can't quit until it's over, and we're in overtime right now. In overtime, you play your ass off. And like any game, there are rules. You don't get very far when you insist on breaking them and fighting the current. I just want to play the game, by the rules, to completion. Single minded focus. This is the job, this is what has to be done. Gotcha, let's fucking execute.
Family and friends are taking this way worse than I am. I accept it. I'm ready. I'm fucking IN TO IT. Personally, I'm tired of hearing about it. Stop-Loss? Dude, that's old news.
Get in. Complete the mission. Get out.