Friday, May 1, 2009

Clearing

Once the chains were broken, I became a ghost. I signed out on terminal leave so that I could focus solely on clearing, without the burden of PT against my will, or showing up to work at 6:30 AM. Yeah, that's civilian time, kids. Get used to it. I am.

I show up at the crack of noon, put the uniform on, and hunt down signatures and stamps and go-aheads with predatorial desire.

Briefings and briefings. A thousand copies of everything. They tell you to make seven copies, make seven hundred.

S-1 lost my leave packet. They didn't have it at Staff Duty. No sweat, I tell them. I pull out one of my umpteen copies. You can have this one. They sign it, and I slaughter every last walking tree from Lord of the Rings to make enough copies to thoroughly cover my ass.

Briefings. Briefings. Appointments. Drop gear off to have it laundered. Pity they won't launder EVERYTHING, but they clean a good chunk of it, less for me to do. Turning in gear will be a nightmare, a post all of its own.

And now I'm hunting signatures again. Yanking myself free from spiderwebs one thread at a time. This shit'll wear you out. Guess I'll have to sleep in til nine again. Life's rough when you're getting out. So rough. Doing things on your own terms? That's fuckin' scary, man! This is too much freedom! I need my inhaler!

I charged through an entire guantlet of signature hunting, only four remain. Finance and Final Out are to be done last. S-1 and CIF. CIF is the bitch. CIF is where I'm going next. CIF is where I'm going to learn to hate all over again.

I'm bringing $500.00 cash with me.

23 comments:

  1. Chuckling here.

    CYA. Now, there's something the Army taught you that you'll use again!

    Translated for the civilian world: Document, document, document!
    ~P~

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  2. if you havent already cleared cif let me give you some advice.... ive never ETSed but i have PCSed and its the same nutroll with the CIF turn in and the sig. chase....

    CIF... i dont think its possible to have every little thing you are suppose to have... if it is possible, its been done few in far between... my aproach had me seeking out the nicest looking old lady in the CIF turn in line... i let others jump ahead of me just so i ended up with her... once i got to her, i turned in a fraction of what i was suppose to and then feed her a big sob/out of time/poor me/not my fault story and it worked... she wrote off hundreds of dollars worth of shit for me and i didnt end up paying a dime for anything...

    as for the sigs.... nothing to advise there, just check the box...

    good luck on the outside bro...

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  3. dude, at Campbell, there's only one lady who handles CIF turn in. I mean aside from the stuff everyone has and turns in collectively in the pig stalls. If you're missing stuff, you see this lady--some old, bitter, Vietnamese lady, and she's a bitch. One of those out to get every single dude she can ladies. all sorts of complaining? she don't give a shit. you're ass is walking out short on cash, or deduction from final pay.

    that's my CIF story. I lost about $100. good thing I mostly kept track of shit...

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  4. GO, SUSPECT, GO!

    Worst case scenario: You are missing stuff, they charge you. If it is only money, it ain't nothing.

    Good Luck.

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  5. Hey, is the Army moving your stuff home?

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  6. I have NEVER seen an S1 that's worth a fuck. ALL of them are chewed up 7 ways to Sunday. Stupidest fucks in the Army. And if a S1 weenie is reading this, fuck you S1!!

    CIF is nothing but a bunch of old retired, disabled fuckos who couldn't make it anywhere else on the outside after they got out, too. Seriously.

    And finally, Nught is a combination of both of the aforementioned...lol

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  7. Oh, WAIT a minute. CIF IS staffed with a bunch of worthless retiree fucks, but goddammit, it's WORTHLESS retiree fucks, not WORKER retiree fucks. Get it right.

    Nonetheless, no matter what the cost, it's worth it. :)

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  8. I once saw an S1 worth a shit. They kicked him out...

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  9. Who cares as long as you're out?

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  10. Hey Suspect,
    Why is getting in this outfit so much easier than getting out? Looking forward to the "turning in gear" story. Keeping jumping through the hoops...a new beginning will soon be your reward. God(s) bless you Ryan.

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  11. i think its funny all the anony's are on nughts balls i know nught hes a good guy but can be a dick sometimes

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  12. CIF. Now that is something I am not looking forward to. I'll start doing that shit next week when I get back. I'm sure I'm missing a good amount of stuff. Good thing 80% of the shit I got issued there I never even used since my unit actually gives us gear that doesn't suck balls. I'm going to be selling all, but a pair of boots and ACU's to the those surplus stores. That's beer money right there.

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  13. dude im glad for you, but for real man didn't you reenlist for another 3 years?

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  14. Go back to the post about re-enlisting and look at the date that it was posted.

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  15. Wow, some really good news for a very deserving person....Congrats on working on getting it all together to GET OUT! Whatever they charge you, it's well worth the cost of your freedom. Just don't forget to write and let us know what you're up to. Good luck!

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  16. I think the anons all know the Nughtster and haunt him because they can't kick his ass, but don't want to shoot him yet. Nught will grow up some day.

    Pussies, all of them!

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  17. Nught ain't bad. Sometimes...Ok, most of the time he's a whiny prick who thinks he knows everything about *tactics*, but he loves his kids.

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  18. Anon obviously really loved kindergarten. Its where he learned to flirt with boys he liked by picking on them.

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  19. HEY! GET A JOB!!!

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  20. yes, get a job loser. it doesn't matter how many babies you killed in the SOVEREIGN COUNTRY OF IRAQ, you are now a nobody.

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  21. Hey, that's not funny. I had a baby when I was in Iraq. It was delicious.

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